Does Ebony Woman Onlyfans Sometimes Make You Feel Stupid?

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Kaitlyn Bradley still remembers the haunting effects of colorism and how some men made www.blackpornophotos.com her feel unattractive. “You’re so pretty for a dark-skinned girl” is one of the backhanded compliments that makes darker toned women feel degraded and unappreciated.

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“It gave me the worst self-esteem ever. You do not go to a light skinned girl and say, ‘you’re pretty for a light skin.’ [Why] do you go to a dark-skinned person and say that to them?” stated Bradley.

As a child, Kaitlyn developed a hate for her skin. She felt as if her skin color made her the root of unattractiveness and as if her complexion contributed to her bullying the most. “I would go home and cry, but I wouldn’t tell anybody, then I would go back to school and deal with it all over again”, Kaitlyn explained.

According to the National Conference for Community and Justice (NCCJ), colorism is defined as a practice of discrimination by which those with lighter skin are treated more favorably than those with darker skin. It is also noted that this practice or notion of thinking that certain tones are better than others, is a direct product of racism in the United States, in that it upholds the white standards of beauty and benefits white people in the institutions of oppression.

Kelly Rowland speaks with BBC about her experience with colorism.

In a recent interview with BBC, Kelly Rowland described her first experience with colorism.

“The first time I had a little boo friend, his grandmother compared me to the color of a paper bag and said that I was too dark chocolate for him, and he couldn't date me,” Kelly said.

She then went home and talked to her mom about the situation, and it was then that her mother told her that she had experienced colorism. “It affected me in a way where I was just always uncertain of how I looked, it started to define what beauty was for me,” said Rowland.

She also said that in the entertainment business that her uncertainty of how she looked really manifested itself in the form of constant comparison.

A student compares her skin tone to the color of a paper bag, illustrating the notorious "Paper Bag Test".

Experiences like these are not uncommon for Black women. The dating pool for Black women is already slim not just in real life, but also online. OkCupid co-founder Christian Rudder's study showed that 82% of non-black men exhibited some type of bias toward black women on dating apps. In a world filled with microaggressions and issues like colorism, featurism, and outright racism, the dating world is simply not an easy space for Black women to navigate through.

Colorism is a global issue but Black women, especially dark-skinned Black women, are the brunt of it. Why? Dr. Clare Anyiam-Osigwe, film director and former dermatologist, knows exactly why and just how much colorism an obstacle for Black women in the dating scene is.

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Before writing her debut film about colorism, “No Shade”, she noticed an influx of patients that began to come to her clinic seeking skin-lightening treatments and products. She also made the connection that the women coming to her for these skin lightening treatments were doing it to attract or keep a man, or to become a more acceptable and desirable shade of Black to society.

“People were saying to me that their own friends, family, boyfriends, husbands are saying ‘You’d look prettier, you’d possibly do better at work if you lighten, brighten, bleach your skin’. [As] a dermatologist, this was something that was of deep concern to me,” she said.

Kayla Stone, a Savannah State junior, said, “There have always been negative connotations associated with dark skin. All the way from slavery. Dark skin has always been considered ‘dirty’,” Stone said.

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Savannah State senior Tho’Mesia Moore said that she thinks that the negative connotations of dark skin come from how Black women are portrayed. She explained how this portrayal leads to people, in real life - identifying darker women with stereotypical labels like being angry, ratchet, ghetto, and ugly. She says that dark skin women are looked at as aggressive and angry.

“There is not a deep appreciation of dark black women in spaces I think it causes a lot of black women to not love the skin that they are in,” Moore said.

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Dr. Anyiam-Osigwe says that this way of thinking and this notion that certain tones are more acceptable than others relates to a deeper story.

“It’s a social issue and it stems from a historical sort of reminiscent or relic of slavery,” she explained. “Our skin tones have always been sort of policed and used as a political statement of how worthy we are of success or love or being in relationships.”

History has shown how Black people with lighter skin are often treated better. This ideal became so bad that not only did the slave owners give lighter-skinned Blacks more respect, but so did the dark-skinned Blacks because that was all they knew. This same idea is where the terms "field Negroes" and "house Negroes" stem from. During slavery, dark-skinned Blacks worked in the fields while light-skinned Blacks worked in the house. The aftermath of this resulted in the continued idea that darker skin was more “aggressive”, and that light skin was more “polite”.

Tamari Shephard, a junior at Georgia State University, explained how the lightness of her skin plays a part in guys who approach and attempt to talk to her.

“I have often been desired by people due to being light skinned. I have had men approach me solely based on the color of my skin. [I think] some people tend to associate certain looks and attitudes with skin color,” Shepherd said.

Dr. Anyiam-Osigwe says this prejudice has always existed, but it started to become more prominent now. She says that this issue is something that is not being perpetuated by our white counterparts but by our own community.

“I think that’s where people are starting to say ‘hey, hang on, why are we doing this to ourselves’, we’ve fought for freedom, we’ve moved on in society, and this is an issue that is plaguing us within ourselves.”

One issue that has been birthed directly from colorism is the prejudice vs. Attraction should be intrinsic and biological. preference battle in the Black community. This conversation is one that continues to be had and further divides Black women and men as it relates to dating and relationships. Attraction is not something that should be predetermined by skin color or complexion. Eliminating certain people with varying skin tones from your potential partner list or predetermining who you will partner with based on their skin color is very different than preferring a certain personality, work ethic, or sense of humor.

Kennedy Shephard, a junior at Temple University discussed her views on the argument.

“Preference to me has to do with other factors besides skin color. You can prefer someone to be taller or prefer someone who’s athletic or prefer someone who shares the same religion as you. But I feel like if you outright reject someone solely because they are too dark for you, you're a colorist,” she stated.

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Tho’Mesia Moore said that preference can be expressed without having to put down other groups of people.

“Colorism is when people put down another person to justify their preferences. It is usually rooted in hate and extreme dislike,” she explained.

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“I love dark black men. I can express that without saying I love dark men because they are more rough, masculine, and tough. Which would be colorism because I am also associating lighter men with being sus, soft, and female, which is a lot of what I see today.” I love black men period, but I love darkskin men. I am a chocolate woman myself.

Though colorism is one of the big issues being faced by Black women in the dating scene, it does not come by itself. It is not often discussed as much as colorism but when discussing colorism, featurism is interlinked with it. It is accompanied by another issue called featurism. Featurism is a prejudice towards individuals with certain features and a preference towards those with features that correlate with a set beauty standard.

Society indirectly (and sometimes directly) implies that European features are more attractive than African features. Media, entertainment, advertisements, and people emphasize this notion daily. For example, many Black women have more round, large noses, however, society’s standard for noses is small and pointy. This European standard is pushed on television, in magazines, even down to make-up trends.

Savannah State University senior Naqwana Garnett easily made the connection between being colorist and having biases about certain features.

“Having a slimmer nose, loser curl patterns, longer hair, and European features have an effect to which others can be colorist. These things allow for many to be deemed as superior [to] those that do not exemplify these traits,” she stated.

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Dr. Ronald E. Hall, Ph.D., a Professor at the School of Social Work, Michigan State University and a well-known expert on the issue has a lot to say about the subject.

“We need to take control of how skin color is interpreted. We should celebrate it,” said Hall. Every opportunity, you get an opportunity to celebrate diversity in the community. We don’t have to buy into Eurocentric terms or norm.

Dr. Hall explained how beauty is universally defined, how the idea of beauty is changed over time and how it varies from country to country.

“Unless you take the initiative to control your own standards of beauty, you’re going to internalize alien norms,” he said.

Society has played a major role in the colorism Black women experience overall, especially in the dating world. The same society that created these constructs is the same society that should confront the issue and seek to find solutions to end this.

“Black women deserve to be loved properly and respected. There should be no reason as to why we’re seen as the ‘least desirable’ group to date”, Kennedy Shephard said.

Ridding society of these ideals starts first with getting the conversation started. Those who experience colorism and or those who do not experience colorism directly but see the damages of this divisive issue have the responsibility of speaking up about it. They must challenge television, films, and media that emphasize the ideals that darker skin is inferior to light skin because the end of colorism in our community is more than just a simple request. Society must dismantle the idea that light skin is right, and that dark skin is dirty. It is a necessity. Individually, when dating one must assess their dating biases.